For Rebecca.

It wasn't until I came out to Mormon college that I realized the importance of holding certain standards. When I went home for Christmas last December, I sat down and discussed the new perspective I'd gained in regards to respect and boundaries within a relationship with my good friend, Rebecca. It's really for her sake that I'm making this post because she asked me to provide a source of reference to the experience I had. It went something like this...

A friend and I were discussing the importance of being chaste and respectful in all of our relationships. I was particularly intrigued because the friend I speak of is a young man, recently returned from serving a mission for the Mormon church, and I'd never really heard the opinion of a man who actively worked to keep himself sexually pure throughout his dating life. I'll be frank, I was semi-skeptical, maybe even faithless in a sense that any male could possibly hold an opinion similar to his without being coerced. I never saw such a view as voluntary on the male counterpart because I grew up in Boston -- where the idea of a man stopping before it got too far is unlikely, at best.

Anyway, my friend relayed the following idea, I'll attempt to reconstruct his exact words to the best of my abilities, for Rebecca's sake.

"It's really not that hard once you reason through it. At the end of the day you have to treat the woman you're currently seeing with the same respect and affection you'd want somebody to show your mother, or your sister, or your future wife. I like to think that, because I'm taking care of the girls I date, because I show them a good time in spite of whether or not I think the relationship itself will go anywhere, somebody out there must be doing the same for the girl I'll eventually fall in love with and spend the rest of my life with."

Alright, let's reason through it. Bex, this is brand new information I'm throwing in just for you. John Bytheway, a motivational speaker for Latter-Day Saint youth, told a similar story about a boy who walked into his seminary class bragging about how he'd broken the record in his stake as far as how many girls he'd kissed in one day (7). Perplexed, his seminary teacher, waited until the next day to pull the boy aside and teach him an important lesson, which I think applies to the point my friend made in his quote. The teacher told the boy that he had found the person who'd break even his numerous record. Curious, the boy asked his teacher who, to which his teacher cleverly responded, "your future wife."

Moral of the story? You have to be the kind of person you'll someday end up with. You have to actively and continuously work towards acquiring the characteristics and qualities you seek in a partner. You can't do a mediocre job yourself and expect a good reward, it's against the laws of nature.

Bex, never settle. Never sell yourself short, never compromise what you know to be true or to be of value. It'll never be worth it. Through heartbreaks and troubles, you'll reach the right destination. Have faith and never be discouraged; someone who's looking for someone that's your kind of special, your kind of wonderful, and your kind of perfect is our there working hard to find you.

Here's a song to support what I've said, I think you'll appreciate it:
Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts

Love you.